I’ve done yet another motherly thing. I didn’t want to but it had to be done and I knew I was the right one to tackle the job. I took my daughter shopping. True, we’ve done this thousands of times over the past 9.5 years but this one was different. We had lunch. Just the girls. Went to her favorite store. Just the girls. We bought her first bra. Just the girls. It’s another one of those “I know this will happen someday but I’m going to pretend that my children will be young forever and nature will understand and take pity on my nerves and do what I want.” Stop laughing. STOP laughing. STOP LAUGHING! My baby’s growing up. She’s not the same little girl that ran around the room hugging everyone just because they loved her grin. She’s a beautiful young lady who is embarking on her own journey into womanhood. While not all the changes have occured, they are on their way. Her eyes light up at the thought of being older. She wants to wear makeup like mom. She wants to wear mom’s jewelry. She wants to stay up later at night. She wants a cell phone. Yet, she still comes to me during dance class to snuggle because she’s tired. She crawls into my lap and curls up into a ball because she just needs to reconnect. I long for her to enjoy these days of innocence. I long for her to realize that life will happen faster with each year and now is the time to just enjoy. I long for her to be still and creative and do what she loves best. I worry about the future. How many boys will I need to chase down and bonk over the head? What will she think of herself and her childhood? Will she remember our outings and being giggly? What will her path become? How hard will life treat her? How big will she be? What will she do? So many questions come from one small shopping trip. To deal with this, I felt called to clean out kid clothes. (weird – I know) So, I pulled out all those packed away boxes and sorted clothes long since worn into piles to repack only those that mean the most to me. I touched ever so gently outfits that once were dragged through mud. I touched outfits that she once slept in. I touched outfits worn day after day after day. I held her coming home outfit. And…I cried. Not because I want those days back. But because I’m losing a part of my life with each day that passes. I will one day not be the mom with the youngest child anymore. I will one day have gray hair. I will one day have college students. I will one day have grandchildren and it scares me to pieces. My life is flying by and I want to catch it and hang on. I want to enjoy my time here and enjoy the time I have with my children. They will one day leave home and I won’t get to see them everyday. While the peace and quiet will be nice, I know I will grow tired of it quickly. But, I do have time with my love to look forward to…