How many head bangs against the wall does it take to lose a pound?!?!  Seriously!!!  Cleanse – check.  Exercise – check.  Watch the food intake – check.  Get frustrated – check.  Watch the scale go in the opposite direction you want – CHECK.  I can’t even tell you how frustrated I am with the whole weight issue right now.  I do a cleanse and lose 7.5 pounds.  AWESOME!!!  I start walking on the treadmill and even running some.  What happens?  I gain 4 pounds back.  Um, I thought the exercise was supposed to take OFF the pounds and not put them on.  Am I confused on this???  I did pay attention to the health science classes in college.  I just don’t get it.  I understand that I still can’t do much exercising with the shoulder still frozen.  But, I’ve increased my jogging from zero until a few weeks ago to jogging a half mile.  I’ve increase my walking from 1 mile to 4 miles.  I just don’t get it.  My pants size went from a 2/4 to a 6/8.  It makes no sense.  I don’t doubt that God put the body together in perfect working order I just really wish he gave each of us a manual on how to handle these things according to our body.  I’m so ready to give up on this whole watch your weight thing.  My knee still hurts so I clearly still need to get some of this off.  If someone could tell me what it is I need to do to handle this, I would be eternally grateful.  I just don’t get it.  I know I’m not horribly overweight or anything but I need to take off 20-25 pounds and it just won’t budge.  I’m at the point where anything I put in my mouth I feel crazy guilty about because I think “well, this is just going to add to the problem.”  If I didn’t like food so much I’d easily have an eating disorder by now.  I’m not wanting sweets of any kind or pop.  The cleanse did curb those cravings.  I don’t eat when I’m not hungry.  My main problems are my lack of eating small meals and making sure those meals are good nutritious foods.  We eat out a lot and I have my hubby’s support on eating at home more but I just don’t like to clean a kitchen.  I’d rather spend the money and go out than have to clean a kitchen.  I know that’s backwards but that’s how I am.  I recognize that and I do fight it as often as I can.  GGGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just want to feel at peace with my body and not have the health problems.  I want to be able to run that 5K I’m telling myself I”m training for without fear that I won’t make it.  I want to look in the mirror and like what I see.  I don’t want to see only the flabby spots.  I want my clothes to fit even if they are a larger size than a 2 (although I REALLY like 2).  I want people to stop telling me I’m suppose to be little because I don’t feel very little and instead I feel like I’m disappointing each one of them by not being the smaller size I should be.  UGH!!!!!  I hate weight.