I just wanted to give an update for those that like to keep track.  (yes, I know you’re out there!)  This is day 5 of cleanse and exercise and there are some changes.  1) I realized I need to eat 1 meal a day.  The cleanse shakes are only 150 calories and between those and my exercise calorie burns I was getting only about 200 calories each day. Not good.  So, I’m eating 1 meal a day.  I’ve decided to have that meal at lunch so I can work it off in the afternoon and not have it turn right to fat during sleep.  It is nice to have a change of tastes going through my mouth again.  2) I weighed yesterday at 136 (135 on Wednesday).  That is down 3 pounds.  I don’t like that as I fully expected that to fall much faster with all this workout I’m doing.  I am very much a numbers girl and it discourages me that that number isn’t any lower.  I’m trying to look at the overall picture and not get too depressed.  3) I’ve lost 8.25 inches since Monday.  This is the number I’m trying really hard to focus on.  I’ve lost in every area except my hips.   I don’t understand that because that’s usually one of the first places I lose.  I have lost 2.5 inches in my waist which I am very happy about.  I wore a pair of jeans yesterday that is usually tight when I put them on and this time they fit perfectly.  That was nice to see.  My bikini is looking better on me now than when I bought it a couple weeks ago – always a good thing!  4) I am being very dedicated.  I have walked 14.5 miles this week, worked my legs and butt two days, and worked my abs 3 days.  I’m doing a Core Secrets in the morning and walking in the evening.  I won’t be able to keep this up in the Fall so hopefully I can do just one at that time then.  I have been handling things much better overall.  The kids’ antics haven’t bothered me as much this week and I’m getting in all my vitamins and adrenal support. 

Overall, I’m happy with how things are going.  I’m happy to see the changes and watch my body get more in shape and stronger again.  I like that I’m losing inches and the weight is down.  My attitude has been much better and I’m getting more done in other areas of my life.  I hope this keeps up as well over the weekend.  Pray for me!!!

So, how many times can one person begin a weight loss regimen?  Lots, apparently!  I started on Monday so am on day 3.  I am doing the cleanse again because it works really well to get my weight loss started and spurs me to do the exercising.  Besides, it never hurts to cleanse!  lol  I measured this morning and have lost 7 inches.  That’s progress!!!!!  I’d gotten back to 139 and it just killed me.  I weighed quickly yesterday at akdoc’s office and I was at 136.  I’m very curious to see what today will say.  I’m hoping 134 but we’ll see.  My goal is to lose 20 by the last week of July.  Akdoc and I are headed to Florida for the weekend for a seminar.  We’ll have a little extra time together Friday and Monday and I plan to lay on the beach!  I have a new swimsuit that I LOVE!!!  Yeah Old Navy!!!!!!!!!  So, I’ve really been working at this again.  I’ve walked 12 miles in 4 days.  For 3 days now, I’ve done a Core Secrets workout in the morning before lunch and walked at least 2 miles in the afternoon.  Akdoc and I have an agreement – every 100 miles I walk, I get a new outfit.  The really cool thing is that by that point I’m usually down at least 1 size.  That would put me back in my size 4 which makes me VERY happy!!! 

I’m not obsessed with my weight.  Truely!  But, I do feel that I need to be in better shape for many reasons.  1) I’m married to a doctor and my being out of shape doesn’t reflect well on him.  2) I want to be able to play with my kids and not watch them play.  3) My health goes down and my weight goes up whenever I don’t workout.  4) When I’m in better shape, I fell better about myself and that makes the other areas of my life a whole lot more exciting!  I’ve realized that whether I’m doing it for weight loss or not, I need to exercise regularly now.  I’m over 30 (sucks) and I want to be as young as possible as long as possible.  My body doesn’t just drop weight like it used to so now I need to work at it.  I can’t eat out everyday like I enjoy.  (no eating out this week!!!)  I can eat out in moderation as long as I workout daily.  So, I’m relearning how to get in some exercise time.  I played at the park with the kids yesterday.  I climbed all over the playground equipment and the kids and I all played frogger with 2 of us on the swings.  That was fun.  I pegged my oldest – it was great!  So, I’m trying.  Oh, we also walked a mile (akdoc says about 2 miles) to and from church last Sunday.  The kids loved the walking and it was easy to get in those 2 miles.  My pooch from babies is still there and I’d really love for that to go down.  I’ve been tempted to try the cardio dance workouts that target the abs but that’s more money to spend.  We’ll see.  I may get back to my stripper workouts.  Those work the abs and are really fun to do!!  A friend is getting a pole and everything.  How would I explain that to my parents when they come visit!  WOOOOO!!!!  Sorry, Mom.  LOL  Anywho, off to get ready for the day after accomplishing my ab workout.  I wanna know my new weight!!!!!!!!

I wanna live like there’s no tomorrow

I wanna dance like no one’s around

I wanna sing like nobody’s listening

Before I lay my body down

I wanna give like I have plenty

I wanna love like I’m not afraid

I wanna be the man I was meant to be

I wanna be the way I was made

- Chris Tomlin in The Way I Was Made

Sometimes words just resonate with you.  You hear them and think WOW!  You can’t get them out of your head.  You can’t get them out of your heart.  This is what I want for my life.  I’ve spent a long time being what other people wanted me to be.  I went back to college because others thought I needed a piece of paper.  I acted prim and proper because that’s what I was told a doctor’s wife should be.  I didn’t allow myself to let loose and bring out the real me.  That’s not a way to live your life.  God made each one of us a certain way.  Why do we think we have the right to deny what He made?  He says to treat our body as his temple.  Would I walk into his temple and say “No, this isn’t right!  Make it this way!”  Wow!  NEVER!  Why do I do that with my own personality?  It’s not like I’m a freak or anything but I have always kept parts of me to myself and my husband only.  Some parts were usually kept even from him.  I wasn’t being true to myself of who I was or what I can do because of this.  I’m a mom.  I’ve never apologized for that because that’s what I’ve always been.  I was a mom when I was a little girl who wanted nothing more than to grow up and have babies.  I’m a writer.  I’ve always loved to write to get out ideas and feelings and frustrations and happiness and everything else.  I don’t have the time to sit and do this but I love the freedom that overcomes me when I’ve posted something.  I’m a artist.  I can’t say I’m the best one ever but what I do makes me happy.  I see pictures in my head and somehow they make it onto paper and I rarely know how they got there.  Some pictures are abstract.  Some pictures are sensual.  Some pictures are pure whatever.  Some have a story and some just are.  I’m a birth junkie.  I have always had a facination with birth and I love the pregnant body.  There is little more beautiful in my eyes than the curve of a swelling belly.  It’s so miraculous to witness God’s creation in all it’s glory!  A pregnant woman is powerful beyond belief and is doing exactly what she was created to do.  I wish more women would listen to that power and take control over their pregnancy and birth.  I’m a dancer.  I remember the freedom of moving my body in dance.  I haven’t done it in about 23 years.  How do I know that’s what I am eventhough I can’t do it?  It’s in my blood.  I am drawn to dance and the freedom of movement and expression.  I love to watch a dancer move their body in whatever way speaks to them and just glide through the air.  So, how does a prim and proper doctor’s wife let these things out?  LOL  Well, there’s the trick.  If I live like there’s no tomorrow, what will I do today?  I will love my family and spend time with them I will never have again.  If I dance like no one’s around, how will I move?  I will allow my body the freedom to glide when it wants and jump when it wants and twirl and relish in the tingling feeling I experience.  If I sing like nobody’s listening, what will I sing?  I will sing songs to my children so they remember my voice of love telling them wonderful things about themselves and how God loves them.  If I give like I have plenty, how will I give?  I will give my time to those that need me and will take my contributions and do the same for others.  If I will love like I’m not afraid, how will I show that love?  I will show it by telling others that I care about them and I will reach out to even those that have made me angry and express forgiveness.  If I will be the person I was meant to be, what will I be?  I will be true to the creation God made in me and honor his work to his glory.  I won’t deny any part of me because I know it is truely from him and I will not allow others to make me feel bad for being who I am.  I will not hide but will stand up with courage and strength and say “this is who I am because God made me this way.  I will enjoy my life – joys and struggles – and I will enjoy the journey he has given me because joy is what he wants me to experience.”  Before I lay my body down, I wanna be the way I was made.