I’ve really been working on that permission thing.  I’m ok with choir being gone next year.  I will miss it when I hear those really cool songs but I’m good.  I think the teaching may go also.  I will be available to help with the class but I just need a break from being the one in charge.  Dance won’t be as crazy as I was thinking.  My daughter has another year before she can begin prepointe so we’ll have her 4 classes and my son’s 1 or maybe 2.  That’s very doable.   I think the bulk of my time will be dealing with work and doing the childbirth education classes.  A girl at work is pregnant.  I’m very excited for her and her husband.   They’ve been trying for awhile.  It’s also scary for me as the boss though.  How long will she be gone?  Will she decide that she doesn’t want to come back?  What do I do then???  It’s scary.  The office is going really well and I don’t want anything to change that.  I know that things change and I deal but it’s so hard to get staff trained as well as she is.  It’s hard to find staff that are committed to staying and working hard and then to find one that is good at her job…..I don’t want to have to find that again.  I know their fnances are such that she won’t leave – they just can’t swing it with just his income.  But, I know how badly she wants to stay home and raise her kid(s).  It’s just a scary thing for me.  The office did incredible last month!  We’ve had several records set and broken.  I feel good about where it’s going and I want that to stay in motion.  The childbirth education classes scare me a bit too.  I know this area needs more choices and I think they will be received well.  But, it will take some work to get them up and going.  I’m working my way through the book reports.  I think I’m on book 5 of 11.  I haven’t even started on the papers yet.  It’s overwhelming but if other things are being handled it’s very doable.  I look forward to doing the teaching.  I like to teach and talk birth – as some of you readers have picked up on.  LOL  I’m very passionate about it.  I know I’ll feel better after I do the weekend training.  A lot of this is just that I have so many things going on.  I’m in the midst of having something every single weekend until mid May.  There’s not any downtime.  When I can sit, I find my brain going a million miles an hour thinking of the things I “should” be doing.  I have caught myself feeling bad for working on my cross stitch.  That’s important to me to finish and NOT at the last minute yet I’ve felt bad.  I stopped that very quick.  It will all get done.  God won’t give me more than I can handle and he will provide the time and the strength to handle it all.  He’ll also give me the wisdom to know when I need to do something right then.  He has a path laid for me and he won’t make me go away from that path.  I fought the devil trying to distract me with newer and bigger houses.  I see now is not the time for that and I’ve let it go.  Would it be nice?  Sure.  But, God will provide that when it’s the right time.  It won’t be a chore that is overloading my thinking but will fit in with everything else.  He has the right timeline and I need to remember to follow Him!

When you don’t have a day in the week to just sit and rest and have nothing to do, you eventually hit burn out.  I’ve found that place.  Things just aren’t as fun right now.  I feel like I’m doing everything for everyone else.  I know I’m taking time for my things also but I just can’t find the enjoyment.  I go through the motions and that’s about it.  I was feeling really bad about it for awhile.  To some extent, I still am.  However, I’m working on finding those things I need to let go for a bit.  I think choir is gone for next year.  I rarely get to sing in the service anyway so what’s the point?!  I like the teaching so I think that will need to stay.  Tumbling will probably go.  Dance will pick up but I think I’m ok with that.  I enjoy being there and working.  I don’t enjoy having to take a 19 month old when my oldest decides not to babysit.  hhmmm, I’ll have to work on that part.  I am working on a childbirth educator certification so that will take some time.  So, maybe it’s not really that I’m giving things up but I’m redirecting my energies.  I still struggle with giving myself permission though.  I have this list of things I think others think I should do and I don’t want to disappoint them.  But, I wanna do what I wanna do.  Right now?  I wanna do those things I’m working on.  I don’t have much spare time and I have to slim things down a little.  It’s just that season of my life.

Ok, everyone agree’s – I suck at this!  But…..it’s not like i haven’t been massively busy.  We getting ready for Cantata next weekend at church.  My daughter had a birthday.  Other issues going on.  OH, well.

 Ok, on to the topic of the day – STUPID PARENTS!!  (said with a loving smile)  My daughter and one son dance at a studio about 25 minutes away.  We go three afternoons each week to get their classes in.  Last night, we had a parent meeting about the upcoming recital.  There was one woman I just wanted to shake!!  Her entire angle during this meeting was to convince the instructor that her kids (2 younger girls) need to be in the same show because it’s just too long of a day for a show at 1 and a show at 5.  (Did we entertain the idea of keeping one child with dad during the show she’s NOT in??)  Now, I can relate.  The last 3 years my daughter’s recitals were 2 shows in 1 day and both were 4 hours long.  NOT kidding.  She was 5, 6, 7 years old.  You plan for it and make do.  You roll with whatever happens and do your very best to support your child and the studio because all the kids have put in SO much hard work over the year.  Not this woman.  She told the entire room that she didn’t care about the older girls “who are in like 8 dances.  Oh, look, there’s that blond again.  I’m so tired of watching her.  I just want to see MY child.”  I thought some other mothers were going to lynch her right there.  After awhile of this I’d had enough.  Now, I know most of you don’t know me but I am usually a mild manner mom but a few things will bring out my lioness.  1)  Attack my kids or husband or otherwise treat them badly.  2)  Attack my values and what I hold dear.  3)  Attack my God.  I do NOT play around with those areas and I will stand up very quickly and put anyone in their place.  After a completely stupid and ludicrous “idea” to alternate which families have their children in the same show, I raised my hand, waited to be called on, and went OFF!  I honestly can’t remember everything I said because it was just spilling out.  (Thank God I think well on my feet for this sort of thing.)  This dance production is about our CHILDREN and not whether we are inconvenienced or not.  It’s is ONE day for THEM to show all the progress and hard work they have put in over the year and we as their parents need to SUPPORT them in this.  They DESERVE a nice show with all the bells and whistles whether it’s what WE want or not.  This is their day and they deserve this.  This woman looked at me and said something along the lines of “don’t tell me I”m not there for my kids.”  “I didn’t say that.”  Well, I really did just not in so many words.  I tried to be as nice as possible but she was just making the entire conversation go round and round about how to please her and enough was enough.  I don’t really care if people get made at me.  I’m secure in my parenting, values, ideals, and actions that I can take it.  As a good friend says, I know how to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.  This woman CLEARLY hasn’t learned that yet.   In the end, the majority (read everyone except 2 woman) felt that the instructor needed to create the show as she feels it should be and the parents need to do whatever they can to help their child have the best day possible.  WHEW – I know sanity world prevail at some point!!  I just don’t understand parents with this mentality.  Clearly dance isn’t this mom’s thing but her children love it.  Why would she NOT support that??  I don’t get how she doesn’t see that this recital is NOT about her.  It’s ONE day out of a year.   If you plan ahead, you can head off these situations that she was complaining about.  Had she been respectful of anyone in that room, I’d offer her a TON of ideas to help her children.  Maybe I’ll talk to the instructor about a sheet to go to all parents with that.  hhhmmmmm  Maybe I’m the crazy devoted with do anything for my kids type of parent but know what?  My kids think I’m cool and love being around me!  THAT’s what matters to me!!!!!!!!!!!